By Quelynda Taveras

No matter how horrible they are, we’re all guilty of hate-watching (or secretly loving) teeny bop movies. Their familiar structure is extremely predictable, yet we still tune in to see if the guy gets the girl, the child prodigy makes it out of their small town, the superhero defeats the villain, etc., Objectively speaking, they’re poorly written movies, yet Hollywood keeps producing them. But why is it that these movies keep being made? What makes them so bad that they’re so good? To answer these questions, I decided to have a talk with the person that is single-handedly keeping the teeny bop enterprise in business: my 16-year-old sister, Queydalyn. In my family, she’s notorious for watching every teeny bop in the book. We’ll be scrolling on Netflix, and she’ll say, “Oh I watched that!” about every movie. I’m convinced they make these movies just for her. Let’s listen to what she has to say:

Me: Let’s dive right in. What got you into teeny bop movies? More specifically, which movie in particular introduced you to this genre?

Queydalyn: I think growing up watching Disney shows, I kind of stayed in the same genre, and continued to watch teeny bop movies and shows, including those that are on Netflix. I guess my first time watching a teeny bop movie could’ve been when I was overhearing you and mom watching The Kissing Booth. It’s TV-14 and I was younger at the time, so I remember hiding behind the stairs trying to watch some of it. I guess it piqued my interest, and I’ve never been the same.

Me: That’s really funny. Do you genuinely enjoy watching these movies?

Queydalyn: I do. I enjoy watching them because I feel like things sometimes can be so complex, like school, life, managing things at home, responsibilities, etc., so when I get home, I want to watch something that’s simple and predictable, something where I know exactly what’s gonna happen. It’s just my time to unwind and watch trashy movies.

Me: That was actually an interesting comment that you made, which ties into my next question. What is it about these movies that makes you keep watching them?

Queydalyn: I think it’s the fact that although they’re predictable, they always add a twist to it. It can follow the same storyline, but they always try to add something different to it, like making it more modern and including pop culture references.

Me: Alright, so you recognize that they’re very predictable and repetitive in their structure, but they progress in their own way over time. I never really thought about that, that’s really interesting. Do you recognize that these movies are inherently bad?

Queydalyn: Yeah, I do, but that’s what makes them so good. I can recognize the fact that they’re cringey, I feel like that’s a known thing. I just enjoy watching them because it’s something that’s familiar. It’s like watching Disney all over again. With watching Disney when I was younger, I trained my mind to enjoy those kinds of movies and shows because I enjoyed them so much as a kid. Now, it's not difficult for me to enjoy it.

Me: To you, how does the bad writing impact your watching experience? Do you watch ironically or are you really interested in the plot? Be honest.

Queydalyn: I like to say I’m watching ironically, but sometimes I am interested in the plot. Sometimes I do have to pause it for a moment, regroup, go on my phone for a bit, and then go back in with a clear mind, and continue to watch. Sometimes it can be too much. I know when to draw the line between a really bad movie and something that can be a little cringey but tolerable. Let’s say the movie starring Nicholas Chavez called Crushed on Tubi. I tried to watch it because he’s popular now. I was trying to get on the same wavelength, but it was just so bad. I sat through it because I’m used to it at this point, but the storyline didn’t go anywhere. It’s about this girl named Kate – on her high school senior trip – who ditches her friend and tries to impress this popular guy named Jason. There was no meaning behind it. Every cringey movie has a meaning behind it, whether it comes off in a stupid way or not, it always has a message, you know? This just had nothing, it was just pure cringe.

Me: So would you say that actors being cast in these movies are what keep them alive? Do people watch them just because of the actors?

Queydalyn: Yeah. Let’s say Joey King, she’s known for her roles in these cringey teeny bop movies, like The Kissing Booth series. I guess you could say that popular celebrities are what draw people in.

Me: Okay. You mentioned that these movies are very predictable. With the recycling of tropes, how can you sit through all of them? Isn’t the ending already set in stone from the get go?

Queydalyn: Yeah it is, but it’s not always the destination, it’s the ride. You have to stay for the ups and downs of the movie. I know what’s gonna happen in the end usually, but sometimes the journey that gets you to the destination is different.

Me: Moving on, you’ve watched quite a few of these teeny bop movies. What’s your top teeny bop movie recommendation? – whether it’s your favorite or the worst teeny bop movie you’ve watched.

Queydalyn: That’s a tough question. Um, Tall Girl. Oh no, He’s All That! That’s the movie I’d recommend. It’s about this popular girl who bets that she can do a drastic makeover on one of the outcasts and make him prom king. It poorly references pop culture and inaccurately represents Gen Z.

Me: Okay, and would you say that it’s your favorite, as in it’s good, or it’s the worst one, as in it’s inherently trashy material?

Queydalyn: I don’t think it’s good. I think it’s very corny. I feel like only the veterans can sit through it. Most people can’t sit through it.

Me: You said veterans?

Queydalyn: Only the veterans can sit through it.

Me: Only the teeny bop veterans?

Queydalyn: Yes, it’s not for the weak. I tried to convince my brother to watch it with me, because it’s “funny,” and he wouldn’t. I knew I hit rock bottom when I ended up watching it by myself for the second time. He fell asleep and I kept watching.

Me: And you recommend this, you want people to watch this?

Queydalyn: Yeah.

Okay, wow. That concludes the interview. But my sister made an interesting point: You can almost always tell how the story of a teeny bop movie is going to play out, which makes the watching experience less stressful for viewers. Regardless of the conflict, everything will work out in the end. In this sense, teeny bops can be considered comfort films. One can argue that they offer stability in a world of chaos. Perhaps this is why teeny bops keep being made. Not only is it easier for Hollywood to keep recycling their structure, it keeps audiences at ease. It’s the classic safe option.

I guess the moral of the story is that teeny bops aren’t for everyone. Although the majority of adults may be tired of this structure, younger audiences, including my sister, will continue keeping this genre alive. Teeny bops are made for teens, so they’ll always exist; it is in the name, after all. Just like kids’ shows continue to be made after we’ve outgrown them, teeny bops will continue to exist for the teenage audience. We can have our Oscar-winning dramas, while people like my sister can have their teeny bops. Our best bet is to coexist peacefully.

In addition to recommending He’s All That, my sister created a list of her top five teeny bop recommendations:

1. The Princess Switch (2018)